I am sorry Allah

Battling with cancer is not easy.
And battling to cure is even harder.
I am sorry Allah, i'm being too fragile just now.
I believed in You wholeheartedly.
I have faith that You never wrong!
You always put me at my best place!
I trust in You.
I do.

Getting emotional is  neccessary. To let out what you feel, to cry and it is okay, because it is what human do.
We cry.
We happy.
We sad.
We repeat it all again.

But the real fight is to only do that for valid reason.
You should cry for valid reason.
You should be happy for worthy reason.
You should be sad for certain cause.

Allah. I will never blame you for this.-any part of this.
This is my Kifarah.
This is my Journey.
This is my Call from you.
This is my Starting point to my Husnul Khatimah.

Allah.
Ease my Way towards You.
Clean my Path from sinful deeds.
Add more Blessing and Rahmah for Me.
And i think im getting blinder.
So Open my Eyes and Sights wider to see what You have given Me is actually sufficient enough to sustain my living expenses.

Provide me more Strength.
Meet me great acquintances along my life.

And let my parents live healthily. Happily.
Shower my whole family with Hidayah.

Amin.
May i win this Struggle against Syaiton.
You are my Rope, Hope, Prayers, Reason of my Existance, Reason to Die For, Reason to Fight For Heaven, and Reason to Stay Away from HellFire.

Aminn.

May You Ease my Way as Easy as Possible.

💪

Tanggungjawab aku

Tanggungjawab aku = Part aku = Part org lain yg kalau tak dilunaskan akan bg effect pada aku.

Well.

Even kau anak, kau kakak, kau abang, kau kawan, kau musuh, kau isteri or kau sesiapapun, kau tetap need each other.

Kau still manusia.

Manusia yg kena berkorban bukan untuk kebaikkan kau seorang tp demi org lain jugak.

Memang penat kau akan berganda-ganda berbanding org biasa tapi ingat juga!
Pahala kau pun bergada-ganda berbanding org lain.

Aku paling meluat dgn org tak bertanggungjawab.
Then berpura-pura.
Macamkau la yg hebat, kau la yg banyak kerja.
PADAHAL, kau la penyebab semua kepenatan kami.

Aku memang tak nak jumpa kau lagi lepas ni.
Not even as friend.

Ini semester terakhir aku dan aku doa agar kau bahagia.

Kau bawa-bawalah berhenti dengan campur adukkan soal peribadi dgn kerja team.
Kau stopkanlah ayat kurang ajar kau tu dgn kami.
Kau sudah-sudahlah menyudahkan kami semua.
Kami tak nak kau jadi pemberat beban.
Kami sanggup ajar.
Tapi bukan utk orang yg tidak mahu belajar.

M.
Sudah-sudahlah.
Bertanggungjawablah, mulakan dgn diir kau sendiri.

Kasihan.
Hidup mak ayah bagi semua tapi kau disini, bermuka-muka dgn keluarga sendiri.

Aku nasihat bukan sebagai kawan.
Tapi sebagai orang luar yg tak kenal kau tapi kau selalu susahkan aku dan aku terlalu marah dgn kau sampai tahap org luar ni dah tak hingin nak jumpa muka kau lagi pun.
Sekalipun nampak bayang atau dengar nama kau M.

Hmh.

God has better plans Oh TRUST ME HE DOES !!

Bila kau tak sangka benda yg sejauh jauh ada dalam benak jiwa kau yg kdg jiwa kau tu pun xsedar apa au rasa, tiba2 appear jd kenyataan? Maka? Mana nikmat Tuhan yg boleh kau dustakan?
Memang benar benar yg amat- Allah lagi dekat dengan kita dr roh kita melekat pd jasad ni? Any closer than that?-i dont think so.
Ya Allah. Terima kasih!
Alhamdulillah!
I hope , kekenyangan dan semua yg aku rasa ni, sedara seIslam aku di Syria , Palestin dan diseluruh dunia dpt rasa juga.
Amin.

Tolong bagi aku kerjain donnnnng.

Lately aku rasa aku ni hype sedikit. Aku tak leh la duk uni tedo semataaa, kerja ada tp part aku done awal, pastu nak jenjalan lak malas, sampaikan aku letih asyik tidur je. Aku nak kua, bahaya lak jalan sengsorang. Rasa macam sth is missing but idk what or where. Aku pun xgalakkan makan makan utk penuhi masa lapangg kangg "lapang" sgt lak saiz pinggang aku ni haaa kangg. So, give a a work to do, lemme ne proactive. What should i approah first? What do i need to do? I have few interest but it quite costly. Purrpurrpurrrrrrr. I miss Buntat. Where is my Domok? Where is my Honey Cha? Od bless you guys. Hmm anyah micchuuu ;(

Shouldn't have monday bluets anymore.

Isnin tu indah.
Rahmat buat semua-yg masih bernyawa.
Hargailah.
Kenapa dibenci suatu permulaan?
Bersyukurlah masih diberikan peluang nak bertaubat atas dosa. Nak jadi produktif slma masa yg bersisa tak lama mana ni- utk kumpul pahala , utk padamkan dosa-dosa.
Untuk tunaikan janji kita pada yg Esa; nak jadi hamba terbaik bg Dia.
Insyallah-istiqamahlah jiwa. Cekallah iman. Tabahlah duhai roh.
Allah, kuatkan kami semua ;)

Konsep Sesat.

Dalam pengalaman aku as a student, ada orang-orang pelik gila yg aku kira "rarerity" pemikiran depa ni hurmm;something wrong aomewhere. I.e, kalau majoriti dlm grpup terbuat/memang buat salah dalam kerja dorg, yg betul ni pun kne menyalahkan kerja dorg dgn alasan "japjap. Kite kene decide skrg ni. Kalau sorg buat smua kne buat. Kalau sorg je buat nnt lect akan question kan bnd tu."
Mashallah sisturr. Apekebendhe kau ni. Kalau dah salah, betulkan jelah. Xsempat ? Buat mana mampu.
Jgn sebab kau/majoriti, kau nk usulkan n racuni minda ktorg dgn ide-ide pelik cmtu. Why-why would i change my futurè marks for you? Just because of the faults in majority? Haiyya amoiii.
Wtheck?
Sampai bila attitude mcm ni nak majukan melayu? Yes-im bèing racist here, rn -for reasons that i love my malay race, and i don't want us to left out anymore.
Mind set is everything.
At some point , we all can see you are the smartest and and one point, yeahh, you never went out of that circle too far- yet.

Untuk apa kau menangis?

Bila tangisan kau tak menyentuh hati orang sebab org dah muak dgn perangai kau , sendiri pikirla kedudukan kau dimana sebenarnya?
Sampaikan orang hilang hormat dgn kata2 kau dan aku xterasa langsung dgn perangai kau yg pelbagai kerenah, lagi merimaskan, membebankan org lain, dan sgt menyusahkan aku, aku rasa kau dah faham yg sabar aku pd kau DAH HILANG.
Sorry but not really, in this case, you gone wayy too much, stop troubling other people would you? Complete your work -COMPLETELY. when people advice you dearly, listen . When we are far too tired to even advise you then we will push your button you hate the most. Tbh, we laugh on your tears-i know its mean, but we also know, you won't change a thing. You still will be you, repeating the same old trick, the same old you, ignore you duties and responsibilities, ignore peoples sensitivities and private space and time, basically, youre full of ignorance. Poorly, we have to be "okay" and "accept" things how it was/how it is/how it will be. Because-you are not "not someone".
Lemme tell you that we are running out of respect, so if by any chance, you would like to catch up, you'd be(tter) hurry. I won't be long by yourside if this troubling me too much. I need someone that MATURE enough to responsible to herself so that i know, i can count on to someone. If you didn't change this attitude, and we see nothing comes out from all this, then lets just be on our own way. Its sad to see how many times youve mentioned "mature" wo being none-not even close to its literal meaning. Ive been covering you for 20 years and THIS SHOULD STOP.
Im growing up too, and my deens changed. I cannot stick to the old times or living w your old sacrifices during small, so, like i say; if you wanna get along, youve gotto change.
Saying and doing are 2 different things, so far, you only saying things, imagining things, when your points still 2000 late.
Save your tears for yourself. Don't be sad for me. I dont need that.