Kebodohan dalam kepandaian

Aku penat. Jadi orang harapan. Selalu rasa dipergunakan. Aku selalu pujuk diri by saying "Takapala..atleast kau berguna pada org lain. Ada kebaikan."
But dah lama kesabaran aku teruji.
Orang tahu aku focus dalam kelas. So they made me their brain.
And for Allah sake, i hate it the most.
Dont get me wrong. I love  love love to help people but i only want to share and help people that help themselves. - not those lazies.those lames.those who refuse to listen in class and never be a benefit because they always the pain in the neck.
They never want to think about themselves so i didnt expect them to think for others-like, for me.
They thought they enjoy their youth, their life but actually they are wasting time. They have ridiculous fun and they discard their ambitions.
They did not do the assignments. They always bickering over artists and stuff that not benefits them at all. They swear a lot on good thing-they not even realise at times it involves their Aqidah.
Im writing not to boast on how good or saint am i. But this is getting my nerves. They used me!
And i keep on lending hands by hands everytime while they are just extracting me out of my life.
.

People, get a life!  Because from the things youve done, you definitely don't have any.
Idc if you want to "enjoy teenage life while u can" but in this phase, if you "die" now you will die forever. Yknow what i mean?
Atleast-atleast-bring something.be something-make your parents proud!
Repay their deeds!
Pray and work hard!
.
Don't you know my pain serving you guys for this past years and all u ever gave me was almost nothing?
.
You submit works later than we agreed and you picked me everytime when youre not supposed to!
You troubled me during my private holidays yet me? Im still RESPECTING  your times and i still thinking twice or thrice to send texts if anything pop up of my mind.
.
Guys.
I have my life too.
I have my hardships too.
And i also have 24 hours-same as you guys.
But i can do things on time. I can cover them even i missed some parts.
I can compromise on my personal importances and yknow what? I choose you guys-works, assignments, datelines- compared to my own "enjoyments".
No body ask me to because it is not an order-not a request. Its responsibilities.
.
When it comes to group works, i worried the most.
I know too well whom ive involved with. Yes. Yes. I can pull out but you guys are. COMPLICATED.
.
THIS-is more tiring than entertaining those doctorates.
THIS-is more exhausting than dealing with my hyperthyroid.
This is unfair caused by mentalities and attitude like you guys.
.
I AM NEVER A SAINT.
There always time i skipped things. Im tired.
What makes you think it is okay to handle your super lame and lazy attitude? Is it okay for you to do assignments last minutes? Submit to me 6hours before submission? With incomplete work? You are not even reading things i emailed you? How do i know? Because of your stupid question-obviously.
"Idk wtd?"-read the elements.
"Which report eh?"-ive sent you a month ago.
"What to say in this paragraph?"-read the elements, questions provided. You just have to answer.
"Id understand this terms".-Google. (Do u expect me to google it for you?) hell no!
"Im going to email you on midnight?"-i dont have to sleep is it? I have to wait u come back is it? I have to suffer my Subuh Quran recitation for the sake of your attitude is it? I have to wake up super earlier than i usually do because ypu are late is it? And guess what? When i did and i saw your email, guess what? Its a hole here, hole there, hole everywhere!
H-O-L-E !
WHICH MEANS?
Im still working on my own. Editing your works. Fixing things last minutes. Rushing for earlier bus when im supposed to sleep peacefully and have extra rest and those swollen eyes because fixing your works, -it looks like my hardships turns to another worst chapter because of those hardships you re giving me. -endlessly.
And,  All this is UNNECCESSARY IF YOU GUYS CAN COMMIT TO THE GROUPS AND HAVE RESPONSIBILITIES !
Enough troubling other people.

May God bless each one of you-there, said.
.

But if you are really devoted to learn, and after DOING REASEARCH AND READING AND YOU STILL BLUR, IM OK WITH THAT. Lets meet and text till midnight to discuss-to share findings-to ask me which one is better or to ask me, can i include this info?
I AM GLAD TO HEAR THAT-TO ENTERTAIN THAT QUESTION-TO ASNWER IT-TO SACRIFICE MY NAPS FOR YOU -if it was really happen.
Well,-its not.
All you did was-not even staring at the food i gave, in fact you let them rotten on table and after you tired of playing and kicking things, you came back and ask me is there is anymore food because this one has rotten?
.

And for all assignments the same goes to everyone else.
Pay attention in class. TAKE NOTES.
Don't show how stupid you are by asking moron questions -texting people as you wish because fyi, Im not that linean.
I am never that friendly.
I am never that easy.
Yknow, its not youre the only type, because fyi, i have a whole bunch in my hands to answer-same attitude-same behavior-same topic-(same question-same answers, this is what i hate hate hate hate hate the mosttttt out of you guys.)
And i dislike typing messages and i still havent rest after longgg typing for my assignments *and i had injuries on my shoulder and super super stiff neck* yet STILL-and i have to continue replying those same answers and explanations to you?- what the heck guys?
All you did was troubless after troubless amd we share the As - yeay !
.
Some of u even text me, asking boring question-without researching first-and make fun of the assignments-and told me how uve been laughing for all this time-and now come to me and ask "mcmana u buat eh?"
Can i say - GTH ?
.
Fyi, i have my nap time,i need to sleep, i deserve it because i work hard on my assignments, my part, my marks, my grades, my As
-and you should have courtesies-not disturbing people as you wish.
.
I am not here for you.
.
And you are not here for me.
.
So find your purpose to be here.
Find who are asking you to do all this?
And the most important is,

FIND YOURSELVES !
.

Guys. I made mistakes. Its a huge mistake. And im emphatic to myself. Because it cant be undone. Its a regret. But knowing people parts of lesson. So i definitely learnt my lessons.
.
Guys.
I am sincere and i have hopes in u guys despite of anger alone but working  like this, is unbearable for anyone.
And u still have guts to ask me
"what to do?"
"Id understand the elements."
"This is all i can find."
"Im sorry for the inconvinience."
SORRY? THATS ALL IS IT? KEEP IT FOR YOURSELF.
Im deeply-terribly sorry for you guys.
.

Guys.
We share the carry marks. The reputations. The praises. The faults. But THIS- IS NOT IT-anymore.
Let this be the last.
I am sorry for my words and yes, im letting things out because this is how i live my life to the fullest.
I let go things and feelings and i regain strength and spirit to live better-to choose better option next time.
.
(Yknow, patience is the limit , not the attitude.)
THANK YOU

Ada benda lebih baik dibisukan.

Bukan senang jadi pelajar yang betul2 belajar.
Bukan senang nak jadi tenaga pengajar yang betul2 mengajar.
Bukan mudah nak menerima apa2 yang diajar.
Bukan mudah juga nak menyampaikan semua yang ingin diajar.

Manusia ada pelbagai sikap baik mahmudah atau mazmumah.
Status dalam masyarakat tu penting tapi lagi penting untuk menjadi masyarakat tu sendiri.
Aku cuba jadi baik, istiqamah adalah kelemahan terbesar aku.
Zuhud apatah lagi?
Semua nak digerakkan seiring kalau tidak?
Sia-sia amalan to jannah aku.
Nauzubillahminzalik, mohon dijauhkan.

Aku ambil sikap Arwah Ahmad Ammar.
Seburuk mana layanan tenaga pengajar, pilih kasih atau dengki, tidak ikhlas atau meninggi diri, sebagai pelajar, martabat guru amatlah tinggi berbanding kami.

Sekalipun mereka salah, niat nak menegur tu ada, tapi manusia sering berpendapat yang teguran akan "drop my water face" .
Maka?
Aku diamkan sebab?
Mereka GURU AKU.

Sakit? Perit? Sedih? Pedih?
Ofcourse.

TAPI !

Aku doa pada Illahi. Mohon, moga-moga disedarkan diri, dibukakan kesilapan untuk tatapan peribadi, dimudahkan taubat dan memohon maaf sesama kami.
Barulah aman hubungan cikgu2 dan kami2.

Amin Ya Rabbal Alamin. 😊😊😊

Satu jam ++++++++

Kau tahu erti marah dan pandai kau kongsikan rasa tu pada orang lain.
To be honest kesabaran aku terhadap kau selama mana aku kenal kau banyak terbazir.
Aku kira, "sabar Ain sabar Ain" yg aku bujuk rayu untuk diri sendiri dah basi.

If you want to talk about limitation, you can't. Because I never exceed yours.

Nak berbasa basi dengan aku lagi? Untuk apa?
Aku tidak takabbur/riak/ujub sebab aku tak rasa bangga diri masa aku buat kerja aku, sekalipun semua kerja terpaksa dipikul sebab aku lagi hormatkan perasaan guru-guru yang mengajar daripada kau.

Dan harus aku ungkit sedikit untuk ingatkan kau apa yang sudah kau sumbangkan untuk diri kau sendiri.

Isu ini memang berkaitan dengan aku tapi, aku lebih suka kalau kau sedar salah yang kau buat pada diri sendiri. Tapi, manusia susah menyedari khilaf diri sebaliknya kalau di-point out kan apa effect nya pada orang lain, barulah.

Aku benci pertelingkahan.
Ia memburukkan persepsi dan jatuh harga diri.
Dan aku cuba ,habis upaya untuk tahan amarah.

Dan asal kau tahu aku akan senantiasa belajar lebih bersabar.
Untuk kau.
Untuk dunia.

But my sincere doubt,
Does your times cost that low?

Wallahu.

Nama Encik ada dalam doa Saya.

Jangan fikir 2 tahun sebagai 2 tahun sebaliknya fikirlah 2 tahun itu sebagai 2 hari.
Rushing sungguh aku , macam2 nak dikerjakan.

Planning? Schedule? bertukar ganti.
Tahun? Hari? Jam?
Sama sahaja jangka waktunya.

Cepat.

Tapi dalam kepantasan tu, akan ada sesuatu yg buat kau rasa masa lambat berlalu.

Pada aku? Adalah seseorang yang sejak pertama kali terpandang,hati aku rasa lambat.

Ini bukan cinta.
Ini bukan suka.

Ini kisah hormatnya aku pada dia.

Syukur. Ak dikurniakan 6th sense yg agak kuat. Apa yg aku detikkan, itulh yg selalu berlaku.
Bukan psikik,tapi lebih kepada bijak menganalisis keadaan dan kebiasaan sesuatu.

Jadi aku perhati cara die bercakap, cara dia bersosial dgn kami, segalanya.
Terus aku tahu, die seorang yang bukan calang.

Tapi, Aku biarkan 6th sense aku dgn details2 terperincinya ketepi.
Malas nak difikirkan sebab?
Banyak lagi urusan duniawi nak disudahkan nanti.

Tapi.
Rasa hormat aku pada dia,sungguhpun dia muda, sangatlah tinggi. Aku sedar dia ni banyak lagi personaliti yang belum dikenali. Aku sedar dia ni istimewa, ilmu tinggi dan tak lokek berkongsi.
Sebab?

6th sense lah.

Tapi 6th sense aku pernah sekali sekala salah.

Tahun berganti, aku selalu terserempak dengan golongan yang meng-admire dia.
Dalam diam "oh, banyak peminat rupanya."
Memang wajar. Dia mahal di mindanya.

Kelas A, kata aku.

Hairan. Mengapa Allah selalu simpangkan perihal aku dengan berita2 tentang dia?
Sedangkan berjumpa pun tidak, terserempak pun jarang, berborak apatah lagi.

Tapi, aku teliti cakap orang.
Ya. Memang. Dia patut di-admire.
Aku senyum sendiri.

Pernah sekali, aku tak puas hati tentang rumours orang merendahkan darjat pendidikan dia.
Bagi aku, mempersoalkan darjat pendidikan itu kurang ajar.
Sekalipun dia hina dina, kalau ada satu ilmu pun yang berguna, yang dia sampaikan, dialah cikgu, guru pada aku.

Habis belajar, aku ketemu dia, terus bertanya, dia senyum, soalan aku terjawab.
Aku lega.
Aku tanya dia bukan sebab nak mengiyakan cakap2 umum
" siapa dia nak ajar aku sedangkan level die cmtu?"

Tapi aku tanya sebab aku bertambah tambah hormat pada dia.
"Siapa dia ni sebenarnya, baru level begitu dah bergelar guru? Mesti dia dah melakukan sesuatu yang hebat smpai diangkat martabat?"

6th sense aku betul.
Aku korek2 info, sungguh,  memang hebat.

"Aku kena jadi macam dia. Lebih hebat dari dia."

Aku selalu fikir, kalau aku rapat dengan dia, tentulah belambak ilmu ilmu dapat aku gali.
Banyak benda aku listkan nak ditanya tapi belum ada rezeki.

Aku suka berkawan dengan "kamus bergerak" ni. Kihkihkih.
Selain dapat tempias good habits, orang begini selalu bukakan minda aku dan very very inspiring.

Their experiences is more worthy than gold and rare diamond.

Their behavior and habits always have values that i should pick.

Dan masa pun berlalu.
Ada kala kami terserempak.
Aku tak pernah tak tertunduk hormat pada dia.
Normal reflex action kalau jumpa dia.
Kenapa?

Aku boleh cakap entah tapi aku nak cakap, yang makin hari aku makin admire dia, hormat aku makin tinggi nilainya.

Sampai sekarang, dia tak mungkin tahu betapa aku jatuh hati dengan peribadi dia.
Dari jauh, dia sangat menyenangkan.
Kejayaan dia, struggle dia, keazaman dia dan bukti2 pencapaian dia always bg aku motivation.

Pernah.
Bila aku sekelumit pun tak teringat pada dia, dia hadir dalam mimpi.

Mimpi ni aku tak percaya sangat. Bahaya.
Syaitan tu ada je cara.
Tapi, mimpi2 dulu betul2 terasa nyata.

Wallahu.
Allah lebih tahu.
Dan bila terjaga? Maka? Cari tahu lah apa macam dia sekarang? Apakah perkembangan? Ada berita2 baik kah yang boleh aku tumpang syukur?

Selalu.
Ada ja.
Kan dah kata.
Orang hebat2 mana pergi ukir nama, bahas apa pun, bawa pulang piala.
Aku bangga.

Panjang kata,
Encik is Someone i look up to.
My idole.

Tak apa Encik rasa Encik tak layak, sebab ini hidup saya.

Saya cari sumber kekuatan dengan cara saya.
Tak kan salah percaturan Allah tu menemukan kita sebab sekarang saya tahu, kejayaan Encik ni betul2 membuka mata saya.

Semoga Encik sentiasa berada  di bawah lembayung Ar-Rahman Nur Rahim hendaknya.

Theres no wrong in

I heard people say, 

that being nice is wrong and being bad is wrong either.

At last we end up not knowing what and who we have become?

Let say if 10 people face this problem then we will waste 10 unique identities and personalities. 

Listen.

Life is meant to be well and good.

.

So if you are being nice to all the livings even , they keep on hurting you in any possible way, it is the best for you , to try, not to feel hurt so much.

The key to this is sincerity.

We should not expect people to get you the way you want them to see you but we can only relflect 'us' through our actions.

And at times, even action is not enough.

Dear. 

If they are being mean to us and not knowing how much we've done for them behind their back, its fine.

Their judgement may misjudged.

But we have Him-who-knows-it-all.

-and He is the Only place to return to.

.

Soon and later ♥♥

If you ever wonder why your problem is like a dog chasing its tail; endless, non-stop and it comes from one another? Then maybe you keep on sitting in a tight corner thinking why all this happening to you?
People, life is a huge deal. Never compare your problem to another because you are living a different life. In fact, contrasting it would not make you relief from this hectic chaos either. So, if you cry at a corner/be a sober/deal with a weeks hangover/even think for a suicide; HOLD THAT THOUGHT FOR A MOMENT!

1. See a bigger picture.
★ You think that you had the worst nightmare right now compared to the other 6 billion people on earth because that is how you want it to be !
Sad. Stop being pathetic and dry your running nose. Even if death is upon your face, so why cant atleast, atleast, have one second to be positive that this will end very soon.
Let say, if you had the best life compared to the 6 billion people on earth, hey, tell me. How that would feel ?

2. Fight if that what is takes to tango.
● Listen. Human are undefine creature. Some are just, i shall say UNBELIEVABLE. If diplomatic wont walk the talk then, you might need a little more exagerration effort to claim your right. Be rational and put your main point on the table, not to put your self on the table. That is a huge case of thing we would not want to deal with.

3. Kifarah, Karma, COD &repent.
Despite of religion and believes, we must accept the fact that our life are attached to one another. Either its called Kifarah/so called  "what goes around comes around" thingy, trust me, you wont need a bunch of rusting  nails living inside your life and ruining every single thing you work on. So please be good to others like how you wanted them to treat you. Have a positive attitudes, send positive vibes to people around you and be healthy inside out.
Ofcourse these would not work out everytime but remember that atleast, you will never die hard for trying.
In fact, it is better to avoid CASH ON DELIVERY "payment" for those bad things we've done especially if you are not a person with a diamond traits.
And, no matter how dark the shades we've got in past, IT IS NEVER TOO LATE TO REPENT. ♥♥♥

"Diamond is just a piece charcoal that handled stress exceptionally well. " 

(WHEN SOMEBODY TELLS YOU THAT...)

when somebody tells you that you are wrong..
maybe they mean well..
maybe they point out your flaw because they think that you should know.. and its their social responsibility to tell you whats wrong..
at times, we tend to think  that:
" Do you think I'm blind to see my own fault?! "

" I'm old enough to realize it , people!!"

But what we didn't know is that they didn't mean to embarrass us..
they just think that they need to tell us as soon as possible because you might realize your mistake too late and you will keep on hurting yourself and other people..

however, the society also need to learn on how to critic wisely about other people.
when we want to give comments, we should see the situation. sometimes, no matter how well we meant, the situation might end up worst when you talk at the wrong time at the wrong place with the wrong tone.

it is dangerous to give blunt comment/critics when you are in the middle of funeral, or when your best friend is having a break up, or you are facing someone's breaking point.

it is true that we must say the right things but the key for an effective critics is at the right time, right place with the right words.

this is just a soft-gentle-baby reminder for everyone so that our life can be improved day by day.

Positivity Pit-stop !

When you feel like the world is against you, 

" Just live. Don't die. Not now."

When somebody make you feel left-out, ease yourself .

" Most of the time, distance is the only way to measure someone's importance." 

You must remember that;

" Presence is always granted.

Absence is overtaken."

Distance will show you that;

"At times, I like to keep distance from people. to know who misses me the most, having leisure without me, and who will standing, waiting for me." 

If you encounter a 'you-know-who' that is hard as concrete, advise him that;

"At certain point in life, you must open your heart to someone. Don't stuck in your past. 'It' is having leisure eating you future."

When you found that a part of you is being down grade by someone else;

" The brightest star is the one who died longer, who suffered millions explosion, who crashed thousand times but rebuilt trillion times." 

There will be time in life that you may find a 'cookies-friend' where trust and believe are meaningless for them;

" I think, God sent you to open my eyes on how I should define trust and believe."

Everyday, we just have to;

" Let's begin again."

When you have no possible answer even you try hard to crack one from this whole universe;

"There's nothing like consequences. It's all fate." 

If you think that a guy hit you to the end of your apocalypse, wait a second and think that;

"The best part in break up is, you open up chances for a better man."

Guys, pleaseee;

" A bad guy will be reminded for his one good deed, a nice guy will be reminded for his one big lie."

 Take chances;

"If Christopher Columbus didn't sail his yacht, he won't discover America." 

 I don't support bullying or blackmailing people but it is okay to remind them GENTLY;

" Dear, I bottled up everything because I know how you would react if it's out. So stay at the safe line. Stay apart. I know you better that you. Don't let my anger burst. Somehow, I'm afraid you can't take it."  

If you have so much in hands to in charge, give yourselves a pop-up reminder;

" Do not ask more than what you can take." 

Basically, this is my hobby, to create the wisdom words, that can boost up my mood when i need it the most, and it allows me to view at things differently from peoples point of view.
The inspiration can be from anything and anywhere because you will never expect something to happen and how it will change our attitude towards someone else :)

The Curse Words.

For the past few years,I noticed that cursive words had became the 'in-trend' and the westerners even commercialize them as the "blurring-safe-comedy".
 In any of the situation, whether some one get a great news or the bad one, (obviously), people will curse.
they like to mix the +ve and the -ve words alltogether like "H***S***".

Once the mouth is opened, the burst comes out..

i was thinking like whats wrong with the people nowadays?
generally, we all know that the cursive phrase are not nice to be spoken because they depicting who you are and more, it hurts people badly.
this has gotten worst when you 'curse' some one for the good help they did for you to replace 'thank you'.
when its happen ill be like...

WHAT THE HEAVEN? 

So, I would like to share the common knowledge in Islam that when a Muslim curse, society will reflect on negative attitudes to him/her even at the end of day, we try to make it up and be as positive as we can. 
Muslim is educate to be aware of what we are saying because we have faith that words are prayers.

 (I believe the same goes to other believes..right?)

Plus what's with the cursing when we have the short and simple recitations for every situation happens in our daily life?

Beside, the recitations can be used as one for all! 

When you're shock, you can recite 
"Allahuakbar!" or 
"Astagfirullahhalazim" 
or, "Mashaallah" or, 
"Subhanallah" or 
"Lailahaillallah" or 
"Innalillah" or 
"Allah" or 
"AllahummasollialasayyidinaMuhammad" or, 
"Tabarakallah" and many others..


Instead of "F***" or, "Stu***" or, "GTH" or "GTD" or, "Bi***" or, "Blo**You" or other impolite verbal gestures to express your happiness, gratefulness and  ,"shocks", i thinm the recitations must have sounded much much more better!

In fact speaking nicely is one of the civilized value as a human.. especially as a Malaysian..we would always accept the..
"Oh My God!" 
"Oh Dear!" 
"I'm sorry" 
"Really?" 
"Oh My Goodness" ,

at all cost.. 
 you might want to list them down, and you'll definitely get a lengthy one...:)

The recent studies proven that these cursers-haha - are carrying more than 80% negativity in themselves in every aspect of their life.

so how would you be a successful person and achieve all your life goals when all you have is the negative attitudes??

& the occurred issue about this behavior disorder was that ; the spoken language is like a transmitted disease.
It can be trended and absorb by anyone until that society will most probably loose their own traditional language.
The younger generation tend to adapt the language as 'normal' and 'formal' for them until they lost rational which one is the proper and soothe for the society?

I tend to consider this language as very 'disturbing' and 'suffocating'.
I must say, at times, i also can't stop myself from saying the lowest level (i studied that these phrases have levels) of this cursive words when someone really ditched himself into a big big problem with me BUT, that's it. i'll stop right away. Because..
(He's not even listening my cursive words)
(He didn't find me being furious by saying those words)

I tried hard to learn expressing my anger with the same burning a.k.a #DEEP words so that the person will be like 
"What are you saying just now??"

Well, it actually can be a prayer and an advice with the sarcasm word inside, in a simple sentence with the double-meaning or so i can say #Deep.

It is much much more better to say something that is right even though people will get hurts because we can't ever satisfy everyone. 
So at least, tell them the right things instead of cursing and wishing them to die.

"Honest person will never get a bunch of friends but those few, are the true ones."

I'm 20 & It's hilarious!

      " Growing old is mandatory;

    growing up is optional "

_____________________________________________________________

Since I'm 20 this year, I want to make a few confessions.
This wasn't easy because I might get the misty eyes.

First, when you're 20 you can feel your body is transforming to be an adult, I mean, overall changes lead you to 
someone you never expect to be.
A part of me hate to be touched and being super sensitive on stuffs that I don't even care when I was a kiddos.
It may sound lame but, when a guy try to squeezed himself when you are in line at the supermarket and he accidentally touched you, you feel its rather 'bothersome' and 'purposely' even when its not. 
The sudden ocean of feelings will pop up when you are not even thinking about anything.
It just your under-conscious emotion settings that somehow existed before you realize you are being like that.
That explains why at times you just hate yourself for not being 'you'. 


2nd, the thoughts of the "turning point".
When you have your morning coffee or simply driving out of college, even simple things you see by the roadside will make you think so much!
You will question yourself about many matters that you never thought!
That's the moment when you say,

"Why I never thought of it before!"
"I am such an idiot!" 

And then, just because of ONE THING happened, you will recall all the regret in the past, feeling sorry for those you've hurt before, and regretting the people that you took for granted.
You just can't help to lie your emotions but only follow your instincts and try to make it up as better as possible.


One of the biggest fault in my stars is when I'm not being a good sister for my little sissy.
When she's now turn 8 years old, and I'm start to cuddle her like a baby, she asked me; 
"Why didn't you do this when I was small?"
"Move aside! It's annoying!.."

She didn't know nothing but since she came 12 years apart after me, it's hard to be the second compared to the last in the family.
I took 5 months to believe that I actually have a little sister.

So now that I'm older, I try to reminisced old memories with her when she was still a baby with a super fat neck that the neck actually "sank" because she was too plumply !

Sadly, I have none.
I can't remember anything.

"It was hard for me, to make up things now when actually I'm not even know how it begun in the past."

3rd, my 20's story always revolve around big kick start!
My sisters are getting her first car, one is getting married, and the addition of the new family member. 
Some people might think that these are normal but it is not normal when you see someone wears a ring on your sister's middle finger and you feel like you really going to loose her.
Even you know that it's time already and that's the right thing to do but to see someone that close to you being taken away is...
"HEARTBREAKING".
But still, I am happy for them more than anyone else!

Kak Nana and Kak Ano are being ditched this year!! 

Maybe I should wait for my turn?
Haha!

So I just want people to know, that we make some bad decisions, and we are not good enough to keep everything on track but, when it is the right time for you to say/do/express something to someone, please don't hesitate.

At least, when you're 50 you can say that;

 "...you're not perfect,

              but you had those perfect times." 

"If forgiving is sexiness, I would spend my whole life forgiving you.."

But, I can't...

             

People, have you ever wonder why someone might ditch you but later dump you on a road that you have never taken before?

In those pitch black night, and when no one seems to pass around, you got nobody to turn to.
You basically feel..

" Tell me what's easy when it comes to you? Knowing you    was hard, being with you was harder, and forgetting you      was the hardest!"

But he/she easily gets to the most exposed layers of yours and be the 'one' that you think is true.
(Mistakes happen at all times-It's fine.)

The experience of being dumped or left out
(other terminologies used are acceptable)  isn't a total 'black memory' after all..

 Maybe its true that Two is better than one..
And it is also true that One does not mean lonely..

We have so much time to figure out what we want in life..
How we want our future to hold us back the way we want to..

When I was in that situation before, I seriously thought..

"I think, God sent you to open my eyes on how I should      define trust and believe.."

You can call it as an embarrassing one to remember but soon enough, your feelings will grow and you, yourself will settle down gradually..

You just need courage to say..

" Let's begin again.."

If you fell for him/her once...and he's (in my case) the hard-one to forget.. Soothe your inner peace by saying..

" I fell to you once, and last. For a 'boy'/'girl' like you, I'm      glad it didn't last long."

We MUST MUST MUST have faith that heaven knows better..
Some people meant to 'drop-by' and several for 'a life-time'..
You just have to be patience, and work out on your destiny..
(it always always always works best with prayers!)

So that in the future, when suddenly you raise one leg when he/she comes out, you'll believe
He/She is your 2 O's...
(One & Only..)

Life's  a battleground for a persistent and tougher person !
For those that strongly hold the "won't give-up" flag!

"If you don't sail your yacht (finish the sentence by yourselves..) " 

You can hate what you've got but you don't get why you hate?

Lets talk about U-S.

About you, about me, about him, about her and about them.

Some times we really really need a break from holding in too much in the chest till you feel like a ticking bomb, waiting to explode!

So let it out.

What is it with that silent cries at nights, and wet pillows, and that swollen eyes in the morning?
What is it that you worry so much ?
What is the problem with your fat abs, and stomach layers and those big cute pimples on your wide forehead?

Humans will never feel satisfy enough.
But what we can do is to turn the table we can hold.
Stop thinking about what the puberty roller coaster hormonal activities have done  to you?

Why don't we try-at least try- 
to look at things with rainbow instead of heavy rain?

That pimples will run out soon.
That fat abs will disappear with few round of run.
That stomach layers will flattened under continuous sit-ups.

There's nothing too rush for a dreamer.
Always have a big hope and do big to achieve it!

Things you hate are still you.
Think, how far you will hate yourself?
Then who's going to love you?
Who's going to like a bunch of living and walking hatred? 

Remember peoples!

How well people made you as "THEIRS".

We tend to feel how special we are in some body's eyes.
But its fun too when we can see whether we are their 'special' or the'specific' purposes friend.
One of the way is When they call for us, listen to their first sentence! 
You don't have any idea on how
truuuuuttt...trutttttttt... (phone ringing)
"Hello, Hye dude, how are you?", or
straight 'greetings' such as "Pick me up at 6 !" would bring HUGE differences!
At times, some of them literally used us as theirs when we are far more advantageous.
When we have cars, money especially, we can be the best tree to shade the weed.
Be careful of that!

Number two, The parasites faking faces are obvious!
Either you are sight-disabled or perfectly normal, you heart won't lie.
We can always feel when something wrong is happening.. like someone purposely poking on you for somethings..
The most-attached person to you are the hardest to remove because the longer you stuck
(there's a huge different between stuck & stick) with them, the more they dig out of you, including your ups and down secrets!
Watch out dude!

Number three, Cold & silence policies are the best !
When you literally stuck between your mind and your heart, stop buzzing around for an answer.
Settle down and being cold and silence as your best shot!
Keep distance to see who's having leisure without you, and who will still standing, waiting for you!
AAAAWWWWW...
#sosweeeeeeeeet

So, all the best in being a goooooood friend!

Malaysia Needs A Milotic

When the news of MH370 has been found through its scattering debris, many of us showed deepest condolence. While some were not that supportive... I would say..., we can at least be grateful because we have found our most valuable family members...

Family is not attached by blood-related only but family is very subjective..

A lot of negatives critics and comments were given about the disappearing until its founding.. 

These minorities clan of Malaysian most probably missed the Civic Class during their high school...

If  you cant give 14.3 billion to search of the plane at the endless Hindi Ocean...

If you cant spend months and leaving your family behind to look for the victims family...

If you cant fly back and forth across the globe for all small possibilities that MH370 is still alive..

And if you cant even send some prayers for them..

Then stay silent..

Do you know that silence is the best policy when you don't have the authorities and expertise for your blunt theories and the exclamation statement?

If we cant help then at least have hope..

With all political theatre going around right now, we cant deny that somehow, someway, this might be affected or related.. But, SOMEHOW, it might not.

In SOMEWAY, it may just not happen the way you think of.

If you ever watch the Pokemon series, Milotic is an aquatic creature that calms down opponents anger during a pitch fight.

So, with all these mad men poking around the country, Malaysians might need to look for this water creature in our abundant natural water sources..

Who knows we might find one?

When a person gives a comment or explanation, we ought not to expect things exactly like we want to hear. 

Because life isn't working with 'exactly' all the times.

Life happens to have plan, hard works, results, and when you gave your best shot, you put hopes and prayers..

So for those irrelevant keyboard warrior, and in-expertise 'prime ministers', as well as the 'clueless national ambassadors', you might want to stop talking or 'make-head' for other people to worry about their lost family members..

Remember.

Hatred don't bring back the goners but prayers are..

A-Grade guy from an apple tree.

“Love all, trust a few, do wrong to none.”
― William Shakespeare, All's Well That Ends Well

There's this guy, whom I never know, I never want to know, 
I didn't feel attracted to any of his where about, what's more, we were  completely strangers.

Within that time frame, I prayed hard for a perfect guy that will fall off  from a very decent, A-grade  apple tree...until, he started to talk to me.
Well, I'm just a highly guarded soul with less armors. 

So, why not?  Let's start talking.
 Instead of us being indifferent, we're actually more than alike. 
Hard-headed, stubborn and egoistical and we were fool for the same things. Be it a love or a materialistic branded items, we were fool-ers once.

The good thing bout him?
His smiles was charming.

The bad thing bout him?
None of my brain cell  would want to recall it.

So the thing began with the 30 minutes super matching minded and amazement on
 " How could he thinks like me! "
"High five dude! "

Okay, I kept that "high-five-dude"in my mind only, we weren't going that far. Ahahah!!

Obviously, he's someone that I want to share my experience, making him different from the past men , special in his own way, yet his got these attitudes that I cannot tolerate and any women couldn't do too.

What happened was , he's the one i love, but I didn't trust.
I completely shattered by his game and it was me at the cost. The 'bill' I have to pay was too high that it costs me part of my life experiences. 

My fall ,tears, loneliness and regrets are what makes me braver than him.

"Just a friend but more than a friend" yet a very delicate one, complicated but we were one in everything.