Kebodohan dalam kepandaian

Aku penat. Jadi orang harapan. Selalu rasa dipergunakan. Aku selalu pujuk diri by saying "Takapala..atleast kau berguna pada org lain. Ada kebaikan."
But dah lama kesabaran aku teruji.
Orang tahu aku focus dalam kelas. So they made me their brain.
And for Allah sake, i hate it the most.
Dont get me wrong. I love  love love to help people but i only want to share and help people that help themselves. - not those lazies.those lames.those who refuse to listen in class and never be a benefit because they always the pain in the neck.
They never want to think about themselves so i didnt expect them to think for others-like, for me.
They thought they enjoy their youth, their life but actually they are wasting time. They have ridiculous fun and they discard their ambitions.
They did not do the assignments. They always bickering over artists and stuff that not benefits them at all. They swear a lot on good thing-they not even realise at times it involves their Aqidah.
Im writing not to boast on how good or saint am i. But this is getting my nerves. They used me!
And i keep on lending hands by hands everytime while they are just extracting me out of my life.
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People, get a life!  Because from the things youve done, you definitely don't have any.
Idc if you want to "enjoy teenage life while u can" but in this phase, if you "die" now you will die forever. Yknow what i mean?
Atleast-atleast-bring something.be something-make your parents proud!
Repay their deeds!
Pray and work hard!
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Don't you know my pain serving you guys for this past years and all u ever gave me was almost nothing?
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You submit works later than we agreed and you picked me everytime when youre not supposed to!
You troubled me during my private holidays yet me? Im still RESPECTING  your times and i still thinking twice or thrice to send texts if anything pop up of my mind.
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Guys.
I have my life too.
I have my hardships too.
And i also have 24 hours-same as you guys.
But i can do things on time. I can cover them even i missed some parts.
I can compromise on my personal importances and yknow what? I choose you guys-works, assignments, datelines- compared to my own "enjoyments".
No body ask me to because it is not an order-not a request. Its responsibilities.
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When it comes to group works, i worried the most.
I know too well whom ive involved with. Yes. Yes. I can pull out but you guys are. COMPLICATED.
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THIS-is more tiring than entertaining those doctorates.
THIS-is more exhausting than dealing with my hyperthyroid.
This is unfair caused by mentalities and attitude like you guys.
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I AM NEVER A SAINT.
There always time i skipped things. Im tired.
What makes you think it is okay to handle your super lame and lazy attitude? Is it okay for you to do assignments last minutes? Submit to me 6hours before submission? With incomplete work? You are not even reading things i emailed you? How do i know? Because of your stupid question-obviously.
"Idk wtd?"-read the elements.
"Which report eh?"-ive sent you a month ago.
"What to say in this paragraph?"-read the elements, questions provided. You just have to answer.
"Id understand this terms".-Google. (Do u expect me to google it for you?) hell no!
"Im going to email you on midnight?"-i dont have to sleep is it? I have to wait u come back is it? I have to suffer my Subuh Quran recitation for the sake of your attitude is it? I have to wake up super earlier than i usually do because ypu are late is it? And guess what? When i did and i saw your email, guess what? Its a hole here, hole there, hole everywhere!
H-O-L-E !
WHICH MEANS?
Im still working on my own. Editing your works. Fixing things last minutes. Rushing for earlier bus when im supposed to sleep peacefully and have extra rest and those swollen eyes because fixing your works, -it looks like my hardships turns to another worst chapter because of those hardships you re giving me. -endlessly.
And,  All this is UNNECCESSARY IF YOU GUYS CAN COMMIT TO THE GROUPS AND HAVE RESPONSIBILITIES !
Enough troubling other people.

May God bless each one of you-there, said.
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But if you are really devoted to learn, and after DOING REASEARCH AND READING AND YOU STILL BLUR, IM OK WITH THAT. Lets meet and text till midnight to discuss-to share findings-to ask me which one is better or to ask me, can i include this info?
I AM GLAD TO HEAR THAT-TO ENTERTAIN THAT QUESTION-TO ASNWER IT-TO SACRIFICE MY NAPS FOR YOU -if it was really happen.
Well,-its not.
All you did was-not even staring at the food i gave, in fact you let them rotten on table and after you tired of playing and kicking things, you came back and ask me is there is anymore food because this one has rotten?
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And for all assignments the same goes to everyone else.
Pay attention in class. TAKE NOTES.
Don't show how stupid you are by asking moron questions -texting people as you wish because fyi, Im not that linean.
I am never that friendly.
I am never that easy.
Yknow, its not youre the only type, because fyi, i have a whole bunch in my hands to answer-same attitude-same behavior-same topic-(same question-same answers, this is what i hate hate hate hate hate the mosttttt out of you guys.)
And i dislike typing messages and i still havent rest after longgg typing for my assignments *and i had injuries on my shoulder and super super stiff neck* yet STILL-and i have to continue replying those same answers and explanations to you?- what the heck guys?
All you did was troubless after troubless amd we share the As - yeay !
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Some of u even text me, asking boring question-without researching first-and make fun of the assignments-and told me how uve been laughing for all this time-and now come to me and ask "mcmana u buat eh?"
Can i say - GTH ?
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Fyi, i have my nap time,i need to sleep, i deserve it because i work hard on my assignments, my part, my marks, my grades, my As
-and you should have courtesies-not disturbing people as you wish.
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I am not here for you.
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And you are not here for me.
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So find your purpose to be here.
Find who are asking you to do all this?
And the most important is,

FIND YOURSELVES !
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Guys. I made mistakes. Its a huge mistake. And im emphatic to myself. Because it cant be undone. Its a regret. But knowing people parts of lesson. So i definitely learnt my lessons.
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Guys.
I am sincere and i have hopes in u guys despite of anger alone but working  like this, is unbearable for anyone.
And u still have guts to ask me
"what to do?"
"Id understand the elements."
"This is all i can find."
"Im sorry for the inconvinience."
SORRY? THATS ALL IS IT? KEEP IT FOR YOURSELF.
Im deeply-terribly sorry for you guys.
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Guys.
We share the carry marks. The reputations. The praises. The faults. But THIS- IS NOT IT-anymore.
Let this be the last.
I am sorry for my words and yes, im letting things out because this is how i live my life to the fullest.
I let go things and feelings and i regain strength and spirit to live better-to choose better option next time.
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(Yknow, patience is the limit , not the attitude.)
THANK YOU