I'm 20 & It's hilarious!

      " Growing old is mandatory;

    growing up is optional "

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Since I'm 20 this year, I want to make a few confessions.
This wasn't easy because I might get the misty eyes.

First, when you're 20 you can feel your body is transforming to be an adult, I mean, overall changes lead you to 
someone you never expect to be.
A part of me hate to be touched and being super sensitive on stuffs that I don't even care when I was a kiddos.
It may sound lame but, when a guy try to squeezed himself when you are in line at the supermarket and he accidentally touched you, you feel its rather 'bothersome' and 'purposely' even when its not. 
The sudden ocean of feelings will pop up when you are not even thinking about anything.
It just your under-conscious emotion settings that somehow existed before you realize you are being like that.
That explains why at times you just hate yourself for not being 'you'. 


2nd, the thoughts of the "turning point".
When you have your morning coffee or simply driving out of college, even simple things you see by the roadside will make you think so much!
You will question yourself about many matters that you never thought!
That's the moment when you say,

"Why I never thought of it before!"
"I am such an idiot!" 

And then, just because of ONE THING happened, you will recall all the regret in the past, feeling sorry for those you've hurt before, and regretting the people that you took for granted.
You just can't help to lie your emotions but only follow your instincts and try to make it up as better as possible.


One of the biggest fault in my stars is when I'm not being a good sister for my little sissy.
When she's now turn 8 years old, and I'm start to cuddle her like a baby, she asked me; 
"Why didn't you do this when I was small?"
"Move aside! It's annoying!.."

She didn't know nothing but since she came 12 years apart after me, it's hard to be the second compared to the last in the family.
I took 5 months to believe that I actually have a little sister.

So now that I'm older, I try to reminisced old memories with her when she was still a baby with a super fat neck that the neck actually "sank" because she was too plumply !

Sadly, I have none.
I can't remember anything.

"It was hard for me, to make up things now when actually I'm not even know how it begun in the past."

3rd, my 20's story always revolve around big kick start!
My sisters are getting her first car, one is getting married, and the addition of the new family member. 
Some people might think that these are normal but it is not normal when you see someone wears a ring on your sister's middle finger and you feel like you really going to loose her.
Even you know that it's time already and that's the right thing to do but to see someone that close to you being taken away is...
"HEARTBREAKING".
But still, I am happy for them more than anyone else!

Kak Nana and Kak Ano are being ditched this year!! 

Maybe I should wait for my turn?
Haha!

So I just want people to know, that we make some bad decisions, and we are not good enough to keep everything on track but, when it is the right time for you to say/do/express something to someone, please don't hesitate.

At least, when you're 50 you can say that;

 "...you're not perfect,

              but you had those perfect times."