Turning Points

Lately, I feel that there is lesser needs to talk to people. I think that I have spent too much time doing bad things, very unworthy. Gradually, I developed interest to become closer and closer to my Rabb. I am very sure that it is the REAL needs in my life. I am so contented to restart this journey. And to see where will I go after this. I had been in the point where I tried hard to please so many people yet they gave me too little (almost nothing) of appreciation. It was heart crushing.

As I grow up, I knew that these 9 billion humans would not be fully happy with me nor I would not be truly happy with them too. The 'perfection' process was too hard to comply.

BUT with Rabb the requirements HE made were easy, were NEVER CHANGE. Pray 5 times a day, fasting during Ramadhan, pay zakat, eat only from halal sources etc but the key is to go back to HIM everytime. And yes, I know many would say that it is impossible but Rabb is with us at EVERY TRIAL. Meaning, try. Put away the selfishness, anger and complaintment and get to know the impeccable Rabb, HIS mighty and HIS never ending love grace for us.
I saw few people sailed this way to their Creator and Mashallah I tell you! Their changes was wow! How they toned down their anger and be less complaining. I adore them, always.

And they also prayed for me, that I will be granted with abundants of Rabb guidance and helps after this. Hey, I know this is not easy pissy. But, Try.

As for me, I had lost my "grateful & thankful" sense so longggg ago and it did not even rang me when I lost it chunks by chunks. So now I am putting my biggest step forward to start back from zero and be a Muslim to its true content. I have this feeling of how little time is left for me to amend my sins but I try very consistently to stay focus on "correcting actions" rather than meerly grieving nonethelessly. I motivated myself that if I was about to die and I knew I had lots of sins so do I will remain in past and cry and to waste the "now" I have? Then that is the real lost.
So I giddy up, and find answers for my own doubts about Islam, about Quran and all that relates to them. I listen to talks by Ulama' and eminent Muslim figures through videos and their Q & A sessions are usually filled with non-muslims queries. And almost all of their questions are those that I wanted to know and more, I am not even reach their level to generate those questions either. Subhanallah! They are non Muslims yet they learn Islam and through them, I learn too. And I reflecting myself on which stages I am since my knowledge in Islam was extremely shallow that I failed to recap many basics in Islam teachings.

That is truly not cool. Which Heaven would accept me that way? We are so demanding for the greatest of the bestest yet we give almost nothing comparable to it.

I am thankful that I am meeting good people whom share almost the same journey as me and they are very encouraging.

So dear readers, I really hope that we will all pray for each other for better and that we will motivate ourselves to be a better Muslim. Please be supportive in any way we possibly can and have trust in Rabb.

He Listens.
He always 💜 us.